Perhaps this might be too absurd for you, but I love my wife.
I'm faithful to her. I want to have kids with her.
I want to grow old by her side.
Got it?.
THE lNVlSlBLE WOMAN
Honey? Hi, honey!
Love of my life! I'm home!
Honey?
Where are you?
Hey, gorgeous!
I cleared 3 streets to get here early.
Pedro, I want a divorce.
You want to divorce me? Why?
-You're the greatest guy in the world. -And?
Our life is tranquil, harmonious, calm...
-And...? -It's smothering me.
Marina!
It can't be! Why?
Because I wanted more excitement.
But why?
Because women become unhappy when their leading happy lives.
I can make you unhappy, if that makes you happy!
I'll do anything for you!
I'm pregnant.
But that's wonderful.
-No, it's not. -But why not, honey?
Because you're not the father.
What do you mean, "you' re not the father? "
Pedro...
This is Johann.
Listen up, pal. We need to have a talk, man to man.
He's German and doesn't speak a word in Portuguese.
-Hallo. -"Hallo", my ass!
-Ja. -"Ja", my ass!
-How can you be sure the kid isn't mine? -I got tested.
We're going to Germany tonight. He'll send for my things, next week.
-How long has this been going on? -Six months.
-God, the conference in Fortaleza! -The conference in Fortaleza!
He came to Brazil to carry out a merger.
And he did: carrying you away from my life!
Marina, ist das alles klar hier?
I'll take her bag. I'll take her bag. I'll take her bag.
Can I at least have the pleasure of carrying your suitcase?
Listen!
How could you do this to me?
How could you not see that I was doing this to you?
-I don't know who you are, Marina. -You looked at me
and only saw what you wanted to.
I've been dedicating my life for you for six years.
You live inside your own dream of a perfect life.
There isn't room for anything that doesn't fit in it.
I felt lonely. It was as if everything I did, didn't matter at all.
As if I was invisible.
Come on you zombie. Wake up!
-Wake up. -Oh, Marina, Marina...
Marina? What Marina?
Marina, the most wonderful woman in the world.
No! No! Sit up. Sit up. Sit up. Sit up.
Look at me. Look at me. I'm with you. Look at me.
Look at me. Marina is a slut.
Say it. Say it. Let it out.
Let it out: Marina is a slut.
-Marina is a slut. -Exactly!
And dumped you 3 weeks ago. Look at me.
She's moved on
and it's time for you to do the same. Get up.
Get up!
This is crazy!
It's absurd!
It's 8:15 AM!
Pedro, the time is now! Right now, Pedro!
Welcome to the wonderful world of bachelordom, Pedro.
Stalk, sniff, attack and go for the kill, Pedro!
Go!
Pedro!
Sorry, I don't remember you.
Carla. From the 8th grade.
Skinny Carla?
You're looking awesome with these lights all over your body.
Kiss me on the lips!
Kiss me!
Do you know you're the second man I've had sex with in my life?
But why me?
I've always thought you were a sensitive guy.
I've got something to tell you.
You know, I've had it with dating jiu-jitsu wrestlers.
I see dead people all the time.
Right here, right now. Right next to you.
I'm going to be your child's mother.
And I'm going to be your son's mother's wife.
Unfortunately, I'm not my own son's father.
-Let's go! -ldiot! Party pooper!
Cops have no life, cops are always on the job.
Cops do not have kids!
Barata Ribeiro blocked. TKS.
-Hello! -I give up!
-Give up what?. -Everything. Tell Nogueira...
that Rio can drown in its own traffic jams.
Wait a second...
And I don't want to screw anyone anymore!
Are you...Dude! Dude, wait!
I don't ever want to see a woman in my life again.
3 MONTHS LATER
Lonely in time...
Loneliness...
Marina, I never noticed you
because you never existed.
Goodbye.
I'm sorry.
No problem. It's just that no one has knocked here in a while.
It's all right. Sometimes I also disappear.
-And you are? -Amanda. Your neighbor.
I've never seen you before.
I moved in just a month ago, and you don't get out much, right?.
Me? Yeah. I'm taking a break from the world.
Working some things out.
-I could come later. -No.
How can I help you?
A cup of sugar.
I couldn't sleep
and when that happens, I need to have some cake.
Then I realized I was out of sugar and I was afraid of not sleeping.
Then I thought,
"I'm not going out to buy sugar at this hour in such a violent city as this."
I thought I could ask a neighbor. But I don't know anyone here.
But then I heard some strange noises coming from your apartment.
-From in here? -Yeah.
-Oh, it's just that I was...singing. -That's right!
Then I thought, "that's what neighbors are for. "
So I decided to give it a shot.
-Do you have any? -Do I have any what?.
-Sugar. -Yes, come on inside.
Candlelight is beautiful, isn't it?.
Yeah. They cut off my electricity not so long ago.
They also cut my phone, but that's OK. I never used it.
It's going to be really tough when they take away the candles.
Sugar...
The food is starting to go bad in the fridge, but I still have some sugar.
You're funny.
-You think so? -I do.
My goodness! You're beautiful!
And so are you.
Die, monster, die!
And now...
it's time.
I have killed my sole companion in this cave!
I killed the wolf, but I'm going to die alone!
Alone!!
Out!
It was astonishing, sis. Astonishing.
It was a disaster, Lucia.
No, they're kids. They will have forgotten it all by tomorrow.
That was a bad idea to write a play for kids!
What's wrong?.
-Marcio got laid off from the bank. -Oh!
There was a merger, and because he was over 40, they fired him.
-What are you going to do now? -He's working for me now.
These kiddie parties are what are paying our bills, you know.
My God, that guy is still checking you out.
That's horrible, Lucia. It's been only 3 months since...
Since what?. Since the pig died?
I practically killed him.
Because you didn't heed your master's call when he wanted you to do it?.
No, because I was...
eavesdropping on my neighbors as my husband lay dying.
Didn't the doctor tell you a million times that it was sudden?
That there was nothing you could do? It was a massive heart attack.
God, you should go partying, should be celebrating now,
Looking for a new job, going back to school,
fooling around with...
that incredible man who can't take his eyes off you.
But if you don’t want him, go screw your neighbor.
He wants to be left alone.
He withdrew from the world because of love.
This is the perfect moment to make a move...
because when men don't get any for a long time,
they go crazy. The time is now.
I can't simply go and knock on his door just like that.
Use the old "l need sugar" line. It works great.
That's ridiculous.
You better do it now before another woman beats you to it.
Good morning.
Here. This is going to be good for you.
-Am I supposed to eat that?. -Yes.
-What is it?. -Soup. Chicken soup.
-What?. -Chicken soup. Have some.
-What is this place? -Your apartment.
-lt looks so different. -I tidied it up a bit.
And you are?
Your neighbor. Remember the cup of sugar?
What happened?
I'm not sure whether you fell asleep or just passed out.
I was going to call for a doctor, but you seemed fine.
You had a smile on your face the whole time.
-For how long did I sleep? -A couple of days.
-A couple of days? What about you? -I left and then came back.
I thought I could take care of you.
I dreamt about you.
I've also been dreaming about you, too.
I mean...
I couldn't help it. The way we met.
I had this weird feeling...
as if I was part of you.
I'm feeling the same thing.
Then you passed out and I put in bed.
I looked around your apartment and I decided to help out.
I threw away the pizza boxes, the empty bottles,
and cleaned up the kitchen.
Then I saw your papers lying around and I felt like tidying it up.
That's when I saw the photos, the poems, the letters...
so many letters...
you must have loved her very much.
I envied her.
Please don't talk like that. I can't take it.
-I know. I'll be going now. -No, wait. Go on. I cut you off.
It's just that...
-I’m embarrassed by what happened. -Please, go on.
What happened?
I read your letters to Marina.
-You read my letters? -Yes.
I think you're the most amazing man in the world.
I think you wrote like a god.
And any woman who reads what you've written
would certainly fall in love with you.
I feel great.
I feel great!
Who are you? Who are you?
I am the same as you.
I am loneliness in search of companionship...
I am tenderness in search of affection....
I'm a woman in search of a husband, a father for my children...
Someone who wants to love, to build, to work and to live in peace.
Away from all the madness in this world.
I want someone to share the adventure that is life.
And most of all...
I want to make love to you.
I'm sure it will have been the best thing I will have done in my life.
Praise the Lord!
Amanda, Amanda, my love! Amanda, my love, Amanda!
Come with me, come with me now... Amanda!
Amanda?
The traffic is the blood of this city,
and we are the circulatory system's defense.
Traffic operators are the white blood cells that defend the human body.
So you want your job back? Do you regret your behavior?
You went nuts because your wife left you,
but now you're saying that you're fine.
You want to have the privilege to work at this sacred profession again.
-Exactly, Nogueira. -I'm sorry!
I can't have a cancerous cell working for me.
Nogueira, I've worked in this loony bin for over 8 years.
I'm the best traffic controller you've ever had.
I came up with 10 out 10 bright ideas that you’ve had,
including the human blood metaphor,
which you've been using for the last 6 years.
So, you must be desperate to have me because there is no one in this city
who would agree to do that for this amount of money.
I can't have a nut job working for me!
Mr. Nogueira, accident on Brasil Ave.
involving a cargo truck, a beverage truck
five dead and a school bus.
The truck has tumbled, people threat to steal the goods.
All right. You can take over desk number 6.
But l' m warning you.
Any abnormal behavior and you're fired.
Gentlemen, I'm back!
-So, he's alive! -Son of a bitch!
Pedro Albuquerque de Morais!
You're looking good. Have you been getting some action?
That's none of your business, but I'm not.
From that smile and these sharp clothes I'd say you've got to be getting some!
If you really want to know: Perhaps I am.
-Ah... -No way!
-Oops! -What's up?
Welcome to the land of the living.
-Sorry. I should have called, right?. -No, no need to do that.
I gave up on you the day I busted down your door
and found out that instead of dead, you were drunk
-sleeping on the couch in your undies. -Well, I'm fine now.
And I've got a job!
Look at you... looking all self-confident.
You must be screwing someone.
Huh? Huh?
Come on, dude.
Who is it?. Who is it?. Who is it?.
Who is it?. Who is it?.
My neighbor.
She knocked on my door asking for a cup of sugar.
We like the same things, we read the same books
and listen to the same type of music. Shit, man!
She makes love like a goddess.
It's like she feels, she knows exactly what I need.
-I don't believe it. -Maybe...
just maybe, it might be too soon to tell,
but I think she might be the love of my life.
Pedro, you fell for the first slut you screwed in over 3 months?
We must get to a whorehouse right now!
Rosalvo, what's your cousin's number again?
After we finish making love, we just lie there...
You would have fallen in love with a 90-year-old lady.
I'm sure you know nothing about her life.
-What?. -What's her story?
Where did she come from?
Who has she fucked already? Do you know?
You don't, man.
So, before you say that she is the love of your life, find out who she is.
-So, what's up? -So what?.
What do you mean what?. Your neighbor.
-What about him? -What have you been hearing lately?
I haven't been hearing anything at all.
It's over, sis.
-It's over, before it even started. -Whatever!
-This man never noticed me. -Honey, it's impossible not to notice you.
Goodness, he didn't even notice you.
-Let's go. -Where to?
Where else? To the wall.
I took off my dress. I was afraid of getting it dirty.
I got carried away with the cleaning.
It was sorely needed, right?.
-So, did you like it?. -Yes.
Stop crying! I can't hear a word they're saying.
-I bought it so we could celebrate. -Celebrate what?.
Your return to your job. You got it back, didn't you?
Yes, I did. I told Nogueira that thing you told me to tell him and he loved it.
I knew it!
We need to talk, Amanda.
Look, a Bloody Mary.
Just the way you like it.
-What's that smell? -It's the bath I prepared for you.
-You prepared a bath for me? -I did.
Amanda, we need to talk.
Stop crying. I think he's dumping the bitch. Come here.
I just realized that I've told you all about me,
-and that I know nothing about you. -Pedro, I don't like talking about my past.
I've told you that. I didn't exist before I met you.
Here.
You told me you weren't eavesdropping anymore.
It's not for me, it's for you.
Put this on, please.
I've been spilling my guts to you after a hard blow.
Pedro, certain things should be left in the past.
-Not for two people who love each other. -You're not going to like it.
I can't take it! Tell me!
What's going on? What are they talking about?.
I can't hear a word she's saying.
My father died when I was 7.
And my mother married an oyster farmer in Florianopolis.
What is it?.
I think she's got a mouthful.
We lived on a deserted beach. I rarely saw other people.
I think I survived because of the sea.
How so?
I enjoyed swimming in the nude.
It's refreshing, isn't it?.
When I turned 13, my body changed,
and my stepfather started to take notice.
He abused me on top of a fishing net.
-How awful! -I loved it.
Then my mother found out and sent me to a Catholic boarding school.
That was great, right?.
The nuns were no angels. I ran away to Porto Alegre.
Great. A very nice city.
Not the brothel I ended up working at.
Oh, my God...do you...
is that what you do for a living?.
I stayed long enough to save some money to come to Rio.
And how do you...
-make a living nowadays? -I make a living...
as a phone sex operator.
I listen to all the perverts over the phone.
So?
Do you trust me a bit more now?
Where's your princess?
I already said she'll be here, and she will. Just relax!
Pedro, a night like this, Pedro!
You've been suffering for that woman for the last 2 hours.
She said she'd be here.
Well then... call her up on her cell phone.
She doesn't have one!
Don't pay any attention to what I say to say to you?
You said you weren't nervous. Just look at you.
Yes, I'm nervous, so what?. I get nervous every time she disappears.
-lsn't it right?. -She's not supposed to vanish, isn't it?.
But she always comes back!
How can this be possible?
She didn't show up and she won't show up.
She won't.
Oh, my...
Barbara!
Pedro, this is Barbara. Barbara, Pedro!
Who's this guy?
This is Pedro. Crazy Pedro.
It's just Pedro. There's nothing crazy about me.
Don't worry. Everyone's a little bit crazy.
Take me for example, I'm completely stoned.
And my friends just loved you.
Amanda, it's none of your business where I've been.
I had a very important meeting with the Norwegians...
Amanda, it's none of your business.
I had a very important meeting with...
the Japanese...
Amanda!
It's none of your business!
You're so beautiful!
You...
Honey, you're here....
I'm way too stoned. Way too stoned.
That's all right.
I made out with two women. Twins. Both of them.
That's all right.
Doesn't it bother you at all?
I'm very jealous.
I feel like going away.
Don't say that. I can't take it.
I need to in order to exist.
Come here...
I'm naked.
Hey, man!
What's up, stud?
Way to go, man!
Two girls at the same time. You look rested.
Amanda took care of me.
She was jealous, wasn't she?
Because of the meeting with the Japanese.
-I told her everything. -About the meeting?.
No, that I fucked the twins.
For the love of God! Why did you do that?.
Carlos, I made up my mind. I'm going to marry her.
-Marry her? -Marry her.
Why are you going to marry her? What for?
You're going to marry a woman that I haven't even met?.
Everything is cool. I know her and I'm the one who's going to marry her.
Pedro, she skipped step 1, where she pretends to like your friends.
She jumped straight to step 3, where she doesn't even want to see them.
If this is happening now, when you're just neighbors,
imagine what it will be like when you get married!
You'll never see your friends again.
Wait until you give her the keys to your apartment.
I've already done that.
-The keys to my apartment! -What?.
-I've already gave her the keys!
You see?
Do you know what she'll do next?.
She's going to convince you to work from home
and that's just slavery.
Until the day she dumps you for a German millionaire.
-Enough! -You didn't like that?.
-You're insulting me! -Am l?
-You're crazy! -You're the one who's crazy.
Mistaking being horny with marriage. You're sick!
-Enough! -You're sick!
-Enough! -Move it!
Don't honk the horn! It's my car, I'll honk!
-It's my car! -You're yelling at me!
What's up, dude? What's going on tonight?.
The Catacomb? No, I'm going alone.
I mean...
The hunter has just seen his prey.
Ooops!
My God! Are you hurt?.
-Are you all right?. -I'm fine.
I'm sorry that I'm laughing. But it was too funny.
Laugh all you want. Be my guest.
But in return, you'll have to go with me to a party tonight.
I can't believe this.
It's just a party tonight... at the Catacomb.
I can't believe I fell for that.
Wait... can I get your number? No?
-What a moron! -What's wrong?.
This Varley is a moron!
The team is losing and he subs a forward like Herivelto
for Timbinha, a center-half.
He filled the team with defenders.
I think he enjoys losing.
-Who's playing?. -Luisiana vs. Sobradinho.
What?.
Luisiana vs. Sobradinho. A minor league classic.
Now they are tied. They'll have to decide on the free kicks.
How about some strip-betting?.
I'll give you a headstart. I'm not wearing panties...
Are you sure?
We barely know each other. It's crazy.
Do you want to go out?. Have a few drinks,
celebrate, party?
You're all I need to exist.
You too!
Carlos... Carlos, look at that.
Isn't that your friend Pedro?
Look, he's totally high!
Some people don't need any company.
As for me... I need you.
-I saw you yesterday. -Yesterday?
3:30am, at the Catacomb.
Catacomb? So you saw me with my sweetie pie?
-My sweet honey! -What?.
-You saw my Amanda? Did you? -No.
-I didn't. -You did.
Next Tuesday the governor will honor us with his visit.
You were all by yourself on the dance floor,
completely out of it.
Really out of it.
The governor can't get stuck in traffic on his way here.
-We're engaged. -Excuse me?
Engaged. Wedding. Wedding. Engaged.
Pedro... Pedro...
Let's go get some fresh air.
Sometimes, when we don't have sex for a very long time,
we tend to lie. That's normal.
But, lying to your brother about getting engaged is just ridiculous!
I don't understand.
You were high and by yourself at the club last night.
I saw you. There's no denying it.
You... You're out of your mind!
-You are completely out of your mind! -Me?
I'm getting married at the end of the year
-and you're telling me it's all a lie? -I'm saying that you can trust me!
You're jealous.
Jealous?
Why do you think I'm jealous? Of you?
Because I am able to love and you're not!
You'll end up alone. No kids, no grandchildren.
Alone! All by yourself.
Alone!
Solo!
Alone!
I'll be right back!
Not you again.
No, it wasn’t on purpose. I ran here and I tripped.
I wanted to give you this. I made this for you.
Please. Don't leave me hanging here.
Please, accept it. Please?
Open the origami.
YOU'RE THE DAUGHTER-lN-LAW MY FATHER WAS LOOKlNG FOR. CALL ME.
Ok?
I think your friend Carlos is jealous of me.
You know what he said? That I need professional help.
-And you really do need it! -Show me some respect.
Look at the line. Shame on you.
What?. You've never seen a beautiful woman?
Good evening and enjoy the movie, sir.
-Good evening. -Good evening.
-Enjoy the movie, sir. -Shall we?
Sir, I'm not unauthorized to hold on to someone else's ticket.
-What do you mean "someone else's"? -You gave me two tickets.
Yes, my ticket and the lady's ticket.
And what lady would that be?
Lady...the lady.
Are you calling me a lady, sir?
I'm calling her a lady. I'm not going to argue with you.
Your name? Jefferson. Get me your boss, please.
-Good Evening. -Perhaps for you.
-Your name is? -Geraldo.
Your employee, Jefferson, doesn't want to accept my tickets.
There's nothing wrong with the tickets.
I was only telling him that he didn't need 2 tickets.
-And why not?. -He's alone.
Oh, yes.
Sir, our policy is that we can't hold on to anyone's tickets.
-Are you alone, sir? -No, I'm here with my...honey?
Honey? Amanda! Has anyone seen my wife?
-Have you seen my wife? -No, I haven't, sir.
Have you seen my wife?
This is the kind of thing that, if people in Brazil had any scruples...
-Honey? Amanda? -Oh, my!
-Where were you? -The movie has already started!
How why did you leave downstairs?
They were giving me a hard time because of the tickets.
The movie!
What's this? You pervert!
-This is love, lady. -Asshole!
You're the asshole, man. Respect other people's feelings.
You're supposed to do that in the bathroom!
What are you doing?. This is outrageous.
Are you waiting for someone?